Nighttime Confessions
by HoneydewKisses
Summary: Sebastian and his daughter have a heart-to-heart. Well, sort of. genderbend!Kurt, SebastianxKate, rated T because Sebastian hasn't been childproofed yet. Prompted by ElloDoctor, except not really.


"I wonder if you can hear me", Sebastian whispers.

He is lying on their bed, at 3 am in the morning, and he can hear Kate breathing, sleeping peacefully behind him. His head is propped up on her swollen stomach, his ear warm against the skin.

It's been eight and a half months.

Very, very soon Sebastian Smythe-Hummel is going to be a father.

And he's _scared as fuck_.

"Kate said that at this stage, you're already an almost fully-developed human being.", Sebastian continues. "She's started to listen to classical music, you know? _All the fucking time_. Says it's good for your intellectual development. I say, with parents like us, you're intellectually developed enough already, don't you think?"

Then he remembers something, and his head shoots up from it's comfortable position, eyes looking at Kate's navel in panic.

"Oh, fuck. I'm not supposed to curse around you, am I? _Shit_. Fuck, now I did it again. God_damn_- urgh." Sebastian flops down on Kate's stomach again, though not with too much force. He's learned that much at least, from that time he hugged her too hard against him and she kneeled him in the balls. Kate had insisted it was the protective mother instinct. Sebastian had insisted she was being a vindictive bitch. Good times.

"You see?", he mutters against the skin, "I'm a screw up. There's no way I'm going to be a good Dad to you. Never thought I'd have to be one, either. Before Kate." He sighs.

Sebastian has, for a long time already, been aware of the fact that his life is essentially divided into two parts.

Before Kate. And with Kate.

Though sometimes he fears that „with Kate" is going to turn into „after Kate" someday.

And Sebastian is just so fucking_ scared._

"To you, I might look like I know what I'm doing. You know, successful lawyer, rich parents, married to a fashion icon. But I don't. I have _no idea_.", he confesses. "I was a total fuck-up in high school. Sorry." Damn, he really needs to lay off the cursing, or their daughter will swear at the nurses as soon as they cut off the umbilical cord. "Went after everything that moved. I had good grades, sure, was the school's rock star, but in reality? Total asshole. Sorry. With commitment problems. Kate's been my first real girlfriend."

And he really, _really _hopes she'll be his last.

"She just... She just _looks_ at me sometimes, you know? Like I matter. Like she trusts me. Like she trusts me with _you_. And I'm just so afraid that she'll see that I'm going to be _horrible_ at this, and then she'll pack her bags, take you, and never come back. And what will I do then?"

Truth is, Sebastian honestly doesn't know the answer to this question.

"I love her, you know? And I think I'm going to love you too, hell, I probably do already, just because of the way she smiles everytime you kick those little legs of yours. Though you could've been a bit less of a jerk early on, I mean, I can't name a place where she _hasn't _puked at least once, those months weren't fun, trust me." Sebastian chuckles, then his expression becomes serious once more.

"I just... I want this to work. I really do. Kate, she's It for me, I know it. I don't want to fu- to _mess_ this up, see, I'll even stop cursing, just for you. I might not be the best Dad, I don't really know how to be, but I promise I'll do my best with you, with Kate. So that we can be a family for real. I promise I'll work really hard to be your Dad. So bear with me for a bit, okay?"

Just at that moment, tiny legs kick against the walls of Kate's stomach, a dull thud in Sebastian's ear. He grins, whispers "That's right, you rascal", and closes his eyes, sleep overcoming him quickly, his mind peaceful once again.

At the front of the bed, lying on the pillows, Kate smiles. She closes her eyes and as she drifts off again, her husband's head a warm weight on her stomach, she thinks that for all of Sebastian's fears, he has already been a father since the moment he saw the sonogramms and said:

„_She's beautiful." _

* * *

Thank you for reading my first Kurtbastian fanfiction! I hope you like it and would love it if you'd take the time and review. :)

Now with a prequel: When You Girlfriend Talks, You Listen


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